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#3091 |  | "All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable." -- Fran Lebowitz
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#3092 |  | "If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" -- Lily Tomlin
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#3093 |  | Whom the gods would destroy, they first teach BASIC.
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#3094 |  | "Look! There! Evil!.. pure and simple, total evil from the Eighth Dimension!" -- Buckaroo Banzai
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#3095 |  | "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid" -- the artificial person, from _Aliens_
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#3096 |  | "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy." -- Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards
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#3097 |  | David Letterman's "Things we can be proud of as Americans": * Greatest number of citizens who have actually boarded a UFO * Many newspapers feature "JUMBLE" * Hourly motel rates * Vast majority of Elvis movies made here * Didn't just give up right away during World War II like some countries we could mention * Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies * Our well-behaved golf professionals * Fabulous babes coast to coast
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#3098 |  | "Danger, you haven't seen the last of me!" "No, but the first of you turns my stomach!" -- The Firesign Theatre's Nick Danger
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#3099 |  | Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. -- Russian Proverb
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#3100 |  | "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." -- Howard Aiken
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